Seek and You will find

August 11, 2012 sweetpea2200
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Dear Reader,

I must start with my humble apologies, as I believe it has been over two weeks since I last posted. I am sorry.

Last week started, okay, then I had a meeting with the man up stand and no not God, that me trying to make a joke so please humor me with a laugh. And, I totally felt thrown under the bus with my head on the chopping block, but in reality, however, what I felt or perceive does not matter, my attitude going forward DOES. And, I can sit around and grumble or get angry or frustrated but that is not who I really am in the inside but a vibrant girl (in spirit, I am pushing 30) who has a heart of kindness and an glass half attitude. So, regardless, of the outcome, I am going to show the real me, and pray really really hard to let the old exterior me go cause she is pretty hard. But, it is not going to be easy after almost thirty years, but with Christ nothing is impossible. I know that my faith has playing a big role in everything as it should, and it is not really my faith. It is more my personal relationship with God that I felt is/was no exist. I mean, up until about five years ago, I was developing my personal relationship with God and then I let a boy destroy it. After, we separated for that on again off again thing, I always felt in my heart that regardless of what life throw my way, God was in control and would provide and then sometime in the last two years, I lost that feeling. I feel completely a lone, but I know in my brain that God is real and true and here for me but my heart is empty. I want to desperately to have that feeling back, to have the kind of relationship with God that Joyce Meyer preaches about. (On a side note, I have to say that I have been missing out on sum awesome God anointed preaching by refusing to listen to her because she was a woman. I was raised and still am very very conservative, but I have been trying to be less narrow minded and more open minded so listen to her and read her books, the ones I have read are awesome, go check her out). So, I went to amazon to purchase a book or more of Joyce’s then discovered that she has written a ton of books and they all sound amazing and I cannot afford them all so I went and got a library card, and checked out every Joyce Meyer book and audio book then requested all the others they have on hand at other libraries in the metro area. The library is by the way totally amazing and my munchkins discovered the kids room and they are totally in love. I did try to read three of her books at once, not smart but I am reading them and loving them. And, I have started getting up early and going into my closet and reading and praying and so far I have read all of Matthew and the first chapter of Mark. I read a chapter or two or sometimes more in the morning and then again at night, and I do not feel that total utter joy then the Holy Spirit comes into your heart that Joyce talks about in her book Intimate Relationship with God but I am trying and I do feel a comfort and then Satan tells me that I have totally messed up and the Holy Spirit is not going to fill my heart, I just quote Matthew 7:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” And, that is pretty awesome in and of its self because I have not taken the time to read the Bible more than at church. So, I am pretty excited about what else I am going to learn myself and not just through someone else telling what is in the Bible.

Anyways, my whole point was it is going to be a positive and inspire meeting for me because then God is for me who can be against me. So, thank you for taking to time to kick me in the bottom.

And, thank you to my readers for taking the time to read and also sharing you stories with me through comments or your own blogs.

Entry Filed under: Faith,Life,Relationships

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