June 18, 2013 sweetpea2200
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Well, the big meeting with the counselor and family was today.  It did not go as well as, I hoped, but did not go as terrible as I feared.  I tried to keep it to the facts, not to harp on the past, but to set the boundaries to hopefully rebuild the trust that has been broken on all sides.  I did pretty well not rebutting their opinions and feeling and not interrupting too much til a comment was made about my mothering stills at the end.  Then, I got a bit frustrated, because it was like the whole meeting was a waste and snapped a bit.  Since then, I have been running the comment over and over in my head trying to justify being angry.  I just want to tell them that what was said was totally unforgivable, but I cannot get myself working up over it.  Would I be  justified? Absolutely.  Is it worth losing my peace over? Nope.  And, honestly, it did not even get up my skin which is a big improvement for me, because even a few weeks ago that comment would have started a soapbox speech.  I believe it is an answer to prayers.   The meeting ending on a negative note, so I do not know if history is going to meeting itself or not.  I do know that I have to be open up enough to step out in faith in opening myself up for the trust to be rebuilt.

Today, I wrote down several Bible verses to focus on during the meeting to help me keep my peace, allow them to voice their opinions and feelings, to not fact fight, and have a positive attitude.

Be still and know that I am God – Psalms 46:10

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stars up anger – Proverbs 15:1

And, whenever y ou stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses – Mark 11:25

Then Peter come to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, & I forgive?  Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven – Matthew 18:21-22

But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?  For even sinners love those who love them – Luke 6:32

And, we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose – Romans 8:28

But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you – Luke 6:27

But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you – Matthew 5:44

I also listen to the audiobooks: Boundaries by Henry Cloud, The DNA of Relationships by Dr. Gary Smalley, Love is a Verb & Love is a Way of Life both by Dr. Gary Chapman to help me be prepared for this meeting.  I did not want to just be the last six years of build up angry rolling out but setting the boundaries and looking to the future.

It was neat to me how the book Boundaries and The DNA of Relationships both reference a lot of the same stuff.   The biggest help is knowing what my fear button which is why many of the things that are said get under my skin and working on react correcting to it.  Because your button is always going to get pushed, it is how you to react then your button gets pushed that is the important part.  Today showed that I not where I used to be, but I am not where I need to be.

Entry Filed under: Faith,Family,Life,Relationships

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