Posts filed under: ‘Relationships‘




Love is an action 

Love is…….

Most of us know the love verses in 1 Corinthians:

13:4-7

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; loves does not parade itself, is not
puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no
evils; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all things”

This has been one of my favorite verses, but I di not fully understand it until
recently. About a week ago, my friend/coworker/office mom sat down at the my
desk to elaborate on her Facebook post that I had reposted. The post was a mother
telling her daughter then looking for a mate, to place the gentleman’s name in these
verses and ask is this true. Is he kind? Is he envious? Is he prideful? Is he arrogant?
Is he rude?……..etc etc etc. (Remember, the King and I, the original not the remake
with Jodie Foster). If her daughter could replace the word love with the boy’s name
and the statement be true then he might pass mustard. I had reposted because I
thought it was a great way to teach girls how to pick a good man, and one I needed
to hear myself. My friend said that she needed to take these verses a step further
and apply them to herself. I am embarrassed to say that I was a bad friend and was
throwing a pity party while she was talking about this, but it did stick with me. I
have been yeaning to know how to love people I do not see eye to eye with. I look at
this country and see that it is broken and needs to be repaired but I do not see that
happened if we are constantly on different ends of the spectrum. But this is it, you
make love an action, so many times we think of love as a feeling but is the true
everlasting unconditional love? No, it is romantic love that many of us have read in
romance novels or watch in movies. It is real, but without the love the romantic love
fades with time.

I want to learn to love like this, and God has blessed me in the last several weeks and
months to put people in my life that show God’s love. Lord, thank You for blessing
me with these beautiful ladies and gentleman, ask open my heart to learn and show
to love. 

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1 comment May 15, 2015

Craving

As I lay here trying to sleep, thinking about how long it is been since I have been in a
relationship, it occurred to me that I have never been in a safe intimate relationship
that I truly trusted the other person. Granted, I have only had two serious
relationships, one being my ex-husband and the second been my munchkins dad, so
my experience is lacking. But, I could never just be with them. With my ex-husband,
I was to busy being the needy dependent one to open our relationship to that level
and with my munchkins dad, I was to busy trying to live up to his crazy high
standards and what his ulterior motive was. I have
discovered that, I crave a safe truly intimate (more than the physical) relationship
with someone who will be my best friend love me faults and all. Someone who
knows to leave me be when, I am angry but knows to stay close by. Someone who
coddles me then I am sick. Someone who just holds my hand because they know
that is my love language. Someone who loves my munchkins, because the way to a
mother’s hearts is to love her kids as they were yours. Someone who will kiss me
without the expectation of sex, because it is intimately sweet and shows that I am
special. Someone who can shoot the breeze with my dad and show my mom
respect, but know then to stand up for me. Someone to share my interest
with like archery or just sitting down on the porch watch a good old fashion
thunderstorm roll through. Someone to smile, at how I get excited over the
dumbest things, someone who gets excited at me getting excited. Someone, who I can share their life with and know them as intimately as I know myself. I want a
relationship and marriage like my friend had that last fifty plus years.

Now, with that being said, am going to pounce on the first guy that shows a bit of
interest or sit back and watch life pass me by. Absolutely not, I am content with my
life, and blessed beyond belief, and this craving because does not change that, but
opens my eyes to what I need to have a safe intimate relationship and what I am
capable of giving. And, God will either put him in my path or take the crave
from my heart, but either way God is in control and He knows the journey that is ahead
for me. 

Add a comment April 24, 2015

2015 New Years Resolutions Goals Plan Path Journey

  • 2015 New Years Resolutions Goals Plan Path JourneyWe all know that resolutions are rarely successful. Goals are great but must be outlined then draw and quarterly with little give.  Plans are just dreams that have not become goals.  Path is the road to walk, but the journey is how we walk the path.  I want 2015 to be an amazing journey where I can finally get out of the desert.  Ever feel like the Israelities in your life wandering around the desert for forty years? I am not forty, though my hair says, I could be fifty or sixty and have only been suck for the last three years.  I realized through many closed doors and much prayer that I have to learn to be content with what I am blessed with.  I have a job that I am good at, but I stopped taking the initiative and lost the drive to go the extra mile, but just in the last few weeks God has opened my eyes to see that I have amazing coworker who are becoming friends, and personally, I just want to be a better Mom, and get my ab muscle back :).  Last year, I learned that I cannot be both mom and dad filling in for their dad absents and no one can ever replace him or fill that void but God.  I can focus on our relationships and on our family relationship to help give them a solid foundation.  I want to spend 2015 learning what I can do to have a better attitude and mindset.  To not be that mom, about to rip her hair out in the middle of the Target line because her kids are running a muck or the disgruntled employee who does what is ask while bellyaching in the inside.  I read a book called QBQ several months ago, and then I begging God for an answer for a guide for 2015 this was my answer.  I rediscovered on New Years Day the author and his wife has also written a book called Parenting the QBQ way.  So, I rushed down to the Baptist Book Store and purchased their only copy.  My new motto “What is the QBQ?”.   Which stands for the Question Behind the Questions, both books talk about IQ andQBQ.  An IQ is the incorrect question and theQBQ question behind the question being the better question to ask.  IQ start with why, what, who and general use you, where aQBQ contains anI and an action.   It is a retraining of yourself to get go of what is ready done (good, bad, or ugly) and focusing on what you yourself can do moving forward.Motto: QBQ
    Bible Versus:

    • Psalms 46:10aBe still, and know that I am God
    • Jeremiah 29:11For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope
    • Matthew 7:7-8Ask, and It will be given to you: seek, and your will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.   For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
    • Proverbs 31: This is the kind of woman, I want to be

Workouts: Five Minutes Abs – daily
Tiny House:  I will have the trailer and shell built by the end of 2015, but I am going to work super hard on having in complete
Massage: Complete my freshman term

What does your 2015 journey look like?

Add a comment January 3, 2015

Online Dating Fail

Online Dating Update

So, I started chatting with this guy and it was an instant spark. He actually is a Star Trek, Star Wars and Stargate fan. Out of all three, Stargate is my favorite, so he was an instant favorite, and after several days of texting then I got his name and googled him: Facebook status was married and married this April. I was very very sad. I really really liked him, and honestly, it was hard not to text him. I understand now how a woman, can stay in a relationship with a married man, even after learning he is married. I was not dating a married man. I have to much respect for myself, and I refuse to be the other woman. I have to say that this has deterred my online dating, well dating in general. I have decided that I cannot offer a relationship what it needs, and I do not think I can trust someone to be that close to me and eventually my children. I suck at kissing, do not want to jump into bed with someone after six dates, and then there is the whole blending of the families. I know the stuff I pulled as a kid on my step-dad, so I will pass. And, honestly, I do not have time to devote to a relationship. I have several volunteer projects on my plate, going to massage therapy school, and being a full-time single mom is a lot. So, I am happy to say that I am off the market, and very happy with my life the way it is. Maybe, I am meant to be a single mom and some how use my experience to help other single moms.

Please, Share our love story or horrible story of online date

Add a comment October 22, 2014

Dating Again

Dating Again

I have decide that it is time to think about dating again, and a coworker told me about a free dating website. Last weekend, I thought why not give this a try what is it going to hurt. I setup my profile, answered some weird questions and started searching. I was just honest and straight forward. The biggest thing was waiting for a more intimate relationship until marriage. I have already received a message from a troll being nasty to and guy saying sorry that is a no go for him, which I am total fine with. But in this process, I decided that I will be setting an example for my children if and then I dated again. I do not want to be the mother preaching one thing and doing another. I do not plan on meeting anyone, but it will have an amazing interesting learning experience. It was actually been a good to see that I am not longer that lonely young girl just looking for love and settling for who will take me. I know what I want and definitely what I do not want, which things I am willing to bend on and which I stand behind. It is a freeing feeling to know that I am valuable and special and if you are going to be a part of my life and later my children’s then you should know and respect me. I would not have to settle.

Honestly, I have not done, a lot of dating in my life. I dating my ex-husband a few months before we married and then I believe I dated my children’s dad a few weeks before we moved in. And, my first date even was my senior year in high school who I have never heard from again. The first year after my husband and I split, I had one date on Valentine’s Day, just so I was not alone. And, after the Valentine Day date, I had a few dates with a coworker’s friend, but I do not remember much about him but he had a beard. So, this online dating is weird.

Is okay to be chatting with four guys at a time?
When do you say okay, we are take this to the next level and only talk to each other?
How long should you chat in online before texting and talking on the phone?
Is there a timeline to follow you chat for a week online, then text a few more weeks, and talk on the phone a few times then you have a date, etc?
How long should you chat, text, and talk on the phone before you meet?
How in depth should the discussions go?
Do I really want to meet someone I met on the net?
What if he is a jerk in person?
Why do the married guy keep popping up on my matches?
Why am I here again, I am perfectly happy with my life now?
Can I ask about their online dating search without sound jealous or crazy?
Can I lose the fifty pounds a gained over the last year before I actually meet this person?

I believe these questions and the work of a relationship is what kept me hanging on to the past, but I am happy with my life either way.

2 comments September 27, 2014

My Cheese Was Moved

I was inspired by listening to Dave Ramsey’s radio show to improve my platform as an employee and team member.   I know that I can be an extremist from zero to sixty and sixty to zero in three seconds.  The reviews and endorsements on the book “Who Moved My Cheese,” are raving, and being credited with saving jobs, careers, marriages, and so on.  I was so enthused to read it, that I purchased it from Barnes and Noble at the higher in store price instead of the cheaper online price.  As I began reading, my balloon sprang a leak and with every word read, my bewilderment grew.  How could this book be credited with saving jobs, careers, relationship, etc etc?  Now, since, I hate quitting, I read on.   Towards, the end of the story, was were it clicked, “Who Moved My Cheese?”  Duh, if I would just ask myself “Who Moved my Cheese?, Which direction do I go to find it?, Where their warning sign?”  All in all, this is a liberating book, that allows a bit of humor, when evaluating a situation before jumping head first into the deep end.  I highly recommend this book to everyone, and I look forward to purchasing “Who Moved My Cheese for Kids”

 

I got to apply the who moved my cheese question this weekend.  Saturday morning, I had plans to stop by Target return few things, stop by the garden center for help with my citrus trees, and then pick up a book from Mardels and then a that Lifeway.  As, I was driving down the road, I heard a pop then my transmission did a weird thing, followed by the check engine light.  Hmmmm….I prayed that we would make it to Target and then to Autozone.  The test revealed a transmission issue that only Dodge could fix.  I am sure, you see where this is going.   “Who moved my Cheese, was the question on my mind and praying that my semi funded emergency fund would cover the cost.   And, praise God it did, and I was not freaking out that I am back at the beginning of baby step 1.  Praise God, that I had my emergency fund.

 

Have you read, “Who Moved My Cheese” or “Who Moved My Cheese for Kids”?  I would love to hear your stories.

Add a comment March 24, 2014

Closure Day

So today, I was visiting family and it was totally weird. It was like I did not even belong there. I do not know how to describe it, but I tried to analysis it all the way home. The only that came to mind is the movie A Wonderful Life, where the guy is shown what the world would be without him. I, however, felt like I was in wrong place all day like then you first meet the boyfriend’s parents. Like an intruder on a private family moment, my munchkins were having a great time so I could not bolt like the runaway bride. I guess even through this distance has been building for a long, it came to a head two weeks ago. I should have just left it a lone, but I feel like I have closure after today, so I guess that was the meaning of today.

Add a comment November 2, 2013

Awesomely Blessed Day

What an awesomely blessed day today is. I have installed a negative thought detector so negative thoughts send off warning signs to get Satan deceitfully lies out of my head. So far, God has enabled me to chase those horribly negative thoughts off, and I am so excited. I have been reading Joyce Meyer book Change Your Words, Change your Life over the last few weeks and it is an amazing book. I am one of those enthusiastic dorky people who even the smallest thing (like my friend giving me M&Ms) gives me great joy. However, somewhere over the years, I have learned to bury sharing that joy, and instead, showing the world what I perceive those around me except me to be out of fear (fear of rejection). But in reading Joyce’s book, I have begun sharing the joy with those around me, and today, a faced my world with the all blessings of God and a big sweetpea smile braces and all. 🙂

I will not live in fear derived from Satan’s deceit anymore. Joyce says, “We are energized by positive words and weakened by negative ones. Words can make us angry or they can calm us down; therefore, they must have power” (Page 6). A word or words can change the course of our lives. As I look back over my life, I can see how just a few words changed the whole course of my life. Do you remember when the book The Prayer of Jabez first came out in the 90s? One of the few parts, I read stated that we should pray for blessings, which at the time I though selfish. Joyce says basically the same thing in her book. I remember thinking the first time, I read Change Your Words, Change your Life and thought what if I am not blessed. But, blessing are not always this big huge thing. God blesses us in so many different way throughout the day from M&Ms to a card to a simple smile from a strangler. We just need to see through God’s eyes, so we do not miss them. Today, is an awesomely blessed day.

Add a comment August 26, 2013

Angry Day

Well, today, was an angry day. Last night, I got a few text unexpectedly and then this evening, I had to review the meeting from last week. I kept my peace last week, but I seem to be losing it this week. I know it is because I wear my feeling on my sleeve, and although I am far from perfect it gets under my skin then people refuse to make responsibility for their actions and wrong doing in the event. What makes me angry is that yes, I have made many mistakes, but I am not the only one. So, can we get over yourselves and work things out because I seem to be the only one trying? I know life is all about relationships, but right now, I wish I could lock myself away in a B&B with whirlpool tub, my Bible, notebook, and have solitude with God, or just go sit on a rock on top of Mt. Scott and decompress. Dr. Gary Smalley is so right in his book The DNA of Relationships

20130627-230139.jpg (this is a picture of a diagram from Dr. Gary Smalley’s book, The DNA of Relationship page Page 778, large print kindle version). because when you push my button and hurt me, I instantly want to hurt you much worse than you hurt me. I am excellent at hurting back because I do it on the sly, not that, that is something to be proud of as I am not. I am very grateful for this book that I first read ten or so years ago, then I was trying to save my marriage. I did not save my marriage but I saved myself and began to understand myself and have peace. I also can stop and evaluate why I am angry. Is it really that person, or that they pushed my button? So, I believe it is time to use the power of one and regain my peace. I will start with apologizing to my sister for snapping that her. I cannot worry about other people’s actions and reactions, but I can take control of my actions and reactions. I guess that is another thing, is that I want validation for taking control of my button (and not be a crazy woman, you know the kind I am talking about, because very few people have yet to see me truly angry), instead of condemnation. Now, I am feeling better already.

3 comments June 27, 2013

Helping with the Tornado Recovery

Helping with the Tornado Recovery

I am honored to work for a company that gave us a whole paid day to go help out with the tornado recovery and to have a department that went as a group. Now, I am the totally outside, because I am weird and bit insecure. I know you know, but in trying to get out of my comfort zone, I grabbed my gloves, laced my tennis shoes, and wore jeans and a shirt with sleeves on it. I have been wanted to go and help with the recovery effort because that is the Oklahoma standard (so they say, I believe it is God’s standard), but I did not want to go alone. All report say that they are not letting people in, so I was excited that my department decided to go as a group.

So, first we arrived at a church in Moore, where we loaded up supplies and headed to a house that was totally demolition. The young man from the church had said to start at the front and work our way back that family pictures should be on the north side which also housed the propane tank that had been refilled like a week before the tornado hit. Hmmm…..think we are staying away from that. As we drove down the road leading to the house where were homes with minor damage, but nothing terrible. Then about ten house or so down the road there was a section of about three or four house that were complete gone. As you looked to the right and left, that section continues for several streets. It was amazing and sad at the same time. There was a house at the end of the section that looked like a knife had just sliced off a piece of the house as you would a piece of cake. You could see into the whole house from the attic to the foundation like one of those 3-D models. The house we were helping with had been a two-story, but the second story was sitting, I believe over the propane tank. And, the question all of us had was where do you start? That would be a theme question through out the day. I started left side. It was overwhelming to me, I could not image if that was my home. We had books, clothes, some really old coins, lot of children’s toys many that my mine munchkins would play with. I could not help but wonder if the family was okay. I pray so, I would assume by the toys there was at least one girl and boy. I found one of those couch things that unfold into a bed with Cinderella on it. We found a lot of car parts and the hood to a car in what I would assume as the garage. By two o’clock we had only begun to scratch the surface. Around ten thirty, another group had joined us from Tulsa so I would say there was about twenty plus people there.

Now, I am pretty tough and the thoughts of being the weakest link vs the praise I would receive by powering through whatever lay head are pretty good motivation, but after I drank my first bottle of water my arms where as weak as a kitten. Now, I do not know what that is about but it tick me off, and I would get excited then it was break time. It was hard backbreaking work with my little kitten arms. But, I was excited to get to be helping with the recovery. Throughout the day, I kept wondering about out of a modern advancements, and thinking without them recovery would be a lot faster and easier. But, I have been watching documentaries today and it would not have been. It would just be picked up stones instead of sheetrock. Anyways, it was one of the longest days of my life. I figure since we were up and moving the day would go by fast and by the end of the day we would be exhausted but grateful to have been a tiny part of the recovery efforts. Nope, I was ready to go by eleven. I could not believe I was being such a girl. I thought I had more fight in me than that. I can go help me friend all day with yard work, so I thought I could handle this. I was a bit shocked at how out of shape I am. I truly am grateful to not only to get to help with the recovery efforts but I have motivation to get myself back to the gym. Really, I want a Total Gym so family members that read this can y’all get together and get me a Total Gym for my birthday in a few months. Anyways, the day was pretty amazing. I big thank you to my employer and department for allowing me to be a part of it.

Add a comment June 24, 2013

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