Posts tagged ‘dying ‘




GG

Today, I sit here writing a blog about my favorite love story while you are about to see your love after twenty years of being apart. I am excited and a little jealous that you will soon meet Jesus face to face and see Papa again. I pray that you are not suffering and that your journey from this world is quick and peaceful. I wonder what is going to happen to the family now that the glue holding us together is dissolving. Will we stay in contact? Or will we just see each other at weddings and funerals? Then Papa passed our family traditions started to fade. It started with the 4th of July, the first holiday after Papa passed and then progressed to Thanksgiving the next year with Auntie’s heart attack. Then Christmas as us kids grew up and moved away and had children of our own. A few months ago, when, I drove back to Little Town, USA to help pack your house so it could be sold, it was a surreal feeling. I remember driving into town thinking, there is not a single reason to ever come back here. I do not generally visit Auntie and Uncle, and if I did it would not be here. The saying, “You can never return home,” felt so true. I have wondered where we will gather as a family once you have passed, because your house would have been where we would gather. Are we even going to gather as one big family? The time between a passing and the funeral is always a special time to just stop, reflect, and just remember the times with the one who has passed. Are we going to get that as a extended family or just going to be our branch of the family tree gathered together? I do not know, what will happened but I know we will be okay. You have raised all us kids to be strong and faithful and love God with all our hearts. GG, I am so blessed to have you as a Grandma. You took me in then things were rough at home and taught me to love my Mom through our differences and for who she is by letting go of the past. You would tell me that you did not know how I did it, being a single Mom, but GG you raised your younger brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, grandchildren and great-grandchildren and many more kids in the community. Even my children have memories with their Great Great Grandma, how awesome is that. I wish, I could just have one more minute with you just to tell you, I love you. And, well, to see whether you would love or hate the Christmas present, I made you :). It is your favorite color red, but I did tear a Baptist hymnal up to use the pages. I can see both your reactions: you loving it and then the scolding for destroying a hymnal. But, then, I was committing my felony (the destruction of the hymnal), I was remembering all the hymns you would sing while you went about your business. You said you could not carry a tune, but I loved to hear you sing. I still love to hear those old hymns, it is like being at your house during summer vacation. I loved summers with you and Papa. You would sit me up on the counter and teach me to cook, well, try to teach me. On Saturday’s, we would take you to the beauty shop and we would help Papa clean house. Then we would pick you up and go to Hardee’s for a roast beef sandwich, then on to do the groceries shopping. I remember our allowance was 1.50 a week. I remember, it taking two very long painful weeks to save three dollars. 🙂 I learned so much from you, but the biggest were to love, fight, and have compassion. I will miss you, but I will be okay. The hard part is watching my children lose you. GG, how did you help your children through their loses? I did not know, my heart could break this much. I truly understand a Mom’s heart breaking for her children. The heartbreak their dad causing it nothing compared to this. We will be well, GG, because we know you will be with Jesus, and is exactly how I explained it. I am so excited that anytime now, Jesus’ is going to welcome you with open arms and that someday, we will see you again. We will all love and miss you, but rejoice that someday we will meet again because this is not our home.

All my heart,
sweetpea

Advertisements

1 comment January 12, 2015

Blogroll

 
%d bloggers like this: