Posts tagged ‘parents ‘

Heaven is for Real

I started reading Heaven is for Real tonight during my munchkins karate class, because I want to feel God and I was hoping this amazing story (so I hear) would draw me closer to God. I am currently only on chapter 10, the beginning was good, however, I expected it to just jump right in the stories of heaven and Jesus so I had to force yourself to continue reading but it is good information that I would have asked if I had not had expectations. I know Collins experience is horrify but reading from the Dad’s view of point broke my heart. I know all to well the broken heart of a parent watching your child suffer and being helpless to stop it. My oldest was born as 30 weeks and spend 4ish weeks in the NICU. I loved (no really) getting a call from the NICU nurse that started with “Everything is okay, but” Really, just tell me flat out what it is. I remember one call at around 9 am from the NICU to say, “Everything is okay, but the baby is anemia and needed a blood transfusion. You have to know, I thoughts on blood transfusions, gross. I am anemia myself but I do try and give blood every chance I can, but it receive it. I know, it is crazy, but I think it is a risk, and it is I risk I refuse to take and I sign that little paper that frees the hospital of a lawsuit in the case, I need blood but I refuse and die. So, how could I sign a paper and okay them to give my child something, I myself refuse to do? Is that not compromising my beliefs? And, really, I do not know this people donating is it really that safe? And, I did not care what the medical community says, I wanted to know my the evidence says. So, I called everyone, I trust to come be testing to yes if they were a match. Sister left work drove the 90+ miles the hospital to be typed and give if needed and my sister HATES needles. But, by midnight, they could not wait any longer (it takes three days to get blood ready for transfusion), after looking at the my child’s color draining fast, the was the risk and my believes where not that big and God would get us through. I signed the papers and waiting for the blood bank to delivery the blood to the NICU. It was during shift change, in which the NICU closes to parents and family, but I was not leaving until the blood was here and onboard. After twelve sticks, and the heartbreaking screams from my tiny 3lb baby, I screams at the nurse to get away for my child and for someone else could try in a bit. I sat there holding my child’s tiny hand through the isolate. Once shift change was complete, they tried again and were able to get the IV started.

I cannot compare my time in the NICU to that of this family or many family but the feeling you have as a parent watching your child suffer could break anyone. My faith in God and hope got me through my two experiences in the NICU and my oldest munchkins two minor hernia surgeries.

Okay, now, time for bed and more reading tomorrow.

1 comment June 13, 2012

One proud Mommy

My munchkin and I have been butting heads for the last few days, and yesterday, it came to a head then the word stupid was used several times at daycare a long with a flying chair.  So, today, then I dropped the munchkin off at daycare, they were told to apologize to the class and the scene that unfolded brought tears to my eyes.  I assumed one apology to the whole class would do, however, the munchkin went to every student in the class, touched their shoulder, looked at their face and said, “I am sorry” in the sweetest kindest voice.  There are twenty plus children in the class, now that took courage and strength.  I was a very proud Mommy today, and I learned a lesson in the courage to apologize.  I believe many of us believe apologizing in a sign of weakness or defect then it is really taking the time to validate the other person and letting them know that regardless of what happened (who was wrong or right) there feelings are important to you.  Wow….is all I can say.

Add a comment May 3, 2012

Thoughfulness for friends

It has been a rough few days as my munchkin and I have been butting heads and Tuesday night was a dozily.  First, I put the munchkins to bed early because we were all tired, however, they did not go to sleep but into my craft closet.  Normally, I can hear them moving around upstairs, however, Tuesday night, I only heard some light footsteps.  So, I headed up the stairs to hear the youngest say, “Oh, its Mommy, we better go hide.” My first thought was great they are up playing, second was which wall did they color on this time, but to my horror they were not playing or drawing on the wall but painting the floor, each other, all my craft supplies, the wall, and part of the bathroom.  I was furious, and yes, I spanked them which the oldest promptly laughed in my face.  So, I went back to my closet and dropped to my knees on the floor and cried like I have not cried in years because I felt so hopeless.  Why?  They know they are going to get in trouble, so why do it?  And, why not just go to sleep they were so tried?  Why me, God?  God, I cannot do this?  I was angry and hurt and I still have not been able to pinpoint the internal anger but God will show me then I am ready.  Wednesday was horrible, and my dear friend saw me struggling (I like to think all parents do at some point) and then we met up tonight at karate with our munchkins this shirt is what she handed me.  What an amazing friend, I have.  Thank you, for being to like and tender hearted.


Blessed to be a Mom…The hardest job



1 comment May 3, 2012


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