Posts tagged ‘Self-improvement ‘

Are you doing to make Lemonade or sour tummy?

Hmmm…..if you really know me then you know that I am a pessimist posing as a realistic who is really an optimistic.  And, I try very hard to make lemonade then life hands me lemons and generally I am pretty successful after a few days of sour tummy, but I would like to change that and make fresh lemonade.   Life is always going to give you lemons, it is what, when, where, and how you handle the lemons that is important.  I want to find the silver lining in before I let a negative word come out of my mouth in any given situation.

Add a comment April 15, 2012


The last six years give or take of my life have been an up and down roller coaster which came to a head a few days ago and end some important friendships and I thought I had made.  And, the last few days and been both incredible hard and incredible blessing.  For the last few days,  I have wanted to do is scream and yell to get this them to see my side and experiences and see what I do and to stop pushing my button and knowledge that I am right and am going my part plus.  Then, yesterday, then I was listening to the Smalley podcast, God spoke to me (not audibly) well confronted me that I was trying to change them.   I stopped and said no, God, I would not try to change them, and it was like God okay, and just sat back and waiting for me to listen to the rest on the podcast (I feel like Paul Harvey….and the rest of the story).  As the podcast continue, I saw that God has right.  I was trying to change them.  Now what, well, a lesson in humility because regardless of what I when about it I saw tried to change them and my consequences from that were great.  A hard lesson learned that I cannot change anyone but myself and how I react.  Lord, please, continue to bless me through this.


To listen to some great podcast on relationships and family tune it on the Smalley podcast

Add a comment April 14, 2012


Wow….the last few days have been testing both emotionally and physically, but you know what.  God has been with me every step of the way.  I am learning that I may act like the ice queen but I am far from it.  I have emotions and feelings and empathy for people and I am a positive realistic person but I have let my reaction to my fear out way that.  I know I have I long way to go, but the last few days have proven that I am letting go of the past and looking forward to a bright future.   And, I have definitely not mastered stopping the fear dance.  I do knowledge it and halt it many times but only stopped it few times.  I do see how I deal with my fear button being pushed and I am working on stopping the anger and gripping because that continues the cycle of anger.


I do have a choice.

10 comments April 12, 2012

Day 4

Today, I am learned new dance steps so I can stop the fear dance.

I cannot say how important the Power of One because life is all about choices and take responsibility of those choices good or bad. I know that I use to be a very bitter angry girl who believed the world has against me. But, I have learned that we can always chose to make lemonade out of the lemons life gives us.

Step 1: take personal responsibility. You must take responsibility for your choices, thoughts, reacts, emotions, and also both good and bad. I know that it is easier to take responsibility for a good decision vs a bad one but we are. I for one am the first one to admit then I mess up, and depend on who it is depends on how hard it is to admit. Like with my children, I tell them all the time that I was wrong. I see this being harder and harder as the grow up, but I hope that starting young they will know that Mom is still human.

Second, take responsibility for your button (Smalley, 48)

“These are my buttons, It’s my job to understand where my reactions coe from, what they are about, and how to control them when my button get pushed. “(Smalley, 48).

Well, for a long time, I wanted everyone else to stop doing things to make me mad. I would think why do you that you know it makes me mad, and my poor family because my buttons are very sensitive. But through reading this book, I realize that it is not everyone else place to stop pushing my button but to change how I react to it. In this step is where I learned that others cannot make you happy. Like most girls, I have been dreaming to have that one person to complete me and have the perfect wedding and marriage and six kids (totally a different blog all together) and we would live happily even after. But reality is much different, life is full of twist and turns, mountains and valleys.

Third, Become the CEO of your Life (Smalley, 53)

I and I alone am responsibility for my life.

Dr. Smalley also says to recruit assistants because every CEO has assistants. but remember they are just there to assist and I am responsibility for my buttons.

I actually have not thought about who I will ask to be my assistance. But, I think my sister and my best friend.

2 comments February 1, 2012

Day 3

The Power of One

“You can choose your reactions, and your reaction is based on your thoughts,” (Smalley, p43).

I do not fully understand this concept, but I do know that I have a choice in how I react then my fear button is pushed. Now, today, has been pretty frustrating since I see now that my fear button is being pushed but I do not know yet how to change my reaction.

2 comments February 1, 2012

Finally….Day 1

A bit of history during the last four or five years, I have fallen away from God and while my situation to turn my heart cold. And, I am tired of being The Ice Queen and always looking to see how someone is trying to pull the wool over my eyes. Always assumes the negative, now I have always been a realist with a the glass is half full (which only the closest people to me saw that side) but over the last few years I have slowly replaced my half full glass with an empty one and then wondered why it was empty. So, I am going to read and blog about a book a read back in 2005 that helped my grow closer to the God and learn how to balance my life until I chose to let life pull me down.

Day 1….Reading “The DNA of Relationships, by Dr. Gary Smalley

“Life is Relationship, the rest is just Detail” (Smalley, 3) this phase was actually coined by Dr. Scott Sticksel.

This took a minute to set in, but a very true statement. We have relationships with parents, children, siblings, in-laws, friends, employers, employees, customers or clients, neighbors, etc. Even the business world is utilizing relationships, and many are turning the focus on bettering inter company relationship as well as customer/client relationships and how to capitalize on those relationship for betterment of the company. I want to improve myself to better my relationship both personal and professional.

“The DNA Code:
1. You are made for relationship
2. You are made with the capacity to choose
3. You are made to take responsibility for yourself
” (Smalley, 11)

I love these, and Dr. Smalley explains these more are great detail in following chapters. This is our emotional DNA makeup.

And, my favorite quote of the chapter and this is a hard one for me because it is so easy to slip into the role of the victim.

“You have to take control of your life, stop being a victim of your past, and start moving on to something new.” (Smalley 13)

Many times, I just want to be validated for everything that I do do and then that does not happen, I tend to slip into the victim shoes, and it is poor me no one know see all that I do and that I am trying to do what I believe is right for my immediate family and my family as a whole. But, then one day I realized that even if they did validate all my hard work, I would not believe they actually meant it and were not just telling me what I wanted to hear. So, they were in a lose lose situation, all because I needed validation and wanted them to change to meet my needs, but they could not because God is the only who can meet those needs. Why? Because that is the way He made us for a relationship with Him.

Add a comment January 25, 2012


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